Their Teeth Will Not Rot: Perfectionism + Self-Care
Sometimes I struggle and pull against myself. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and unproductive.
I used to fill my head with things like, “why can’t you just get it done?” “it’s not that hard,” and “you could be long past this by now if...”
Pile on the shame. You are not okay. You are less than.
These unrealistic expectations for perfection breed anxiety and depression, which only makes basic functioning harder.
Sometimes you just have to get off the hamster wheel to see things clearly.
You don’t have to fight against yourself.
Finding what works for you is not weak, wrong, or flawed — it’s brave, bold, and SMART.
When we work with our unique style and ways of thinking we are so much more innovative and powerful. Give yourself permission to not be like everyone else.
One of my least favorite questions my partner asks is: “Did the kids get their teeth brushed today?”
True story: recently when my partner asked this I said no and he sighed, “they have to get their teeth brushed.” Previously I would have spun out in response, "I know, I’m sorry I feel like a bad mom."
Instead, I calmly said, “I need you not to get on me for not brushing their teeth. I do A LOT every day to meet their needs and remembering to brush their teeth is hard for me. When you scold me like that my brain says to lie to you next time.”
I did not cry or get angry - I said what I needed and he heard me validated and apologized then clarified what he needed.
We’re getting better at this co-parenting dance.
Sometimes I get angry when I hear people talk about self-care. I often hear a message that I don’t care enough to just do the thing for me or my kids.
That’s a lie I refuse to own.
I DO want to brush my kids’ teeth every day, but I am not superhuman. My brain makes things like managing routines extra challenging.
I’m not going to let their teeth rot and fall out, so I can give myself a break on the perfect performance. I can tell others when they’re expecting flawless, and it is filling me with fear and/or shame.
What can you acknowledge and stand up for yourself about?