I need support, perhaps more than another parent, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a good mother. When we separate ADHD challenges from our worth, we will feel more in control.
Are you sick of linking your worth to your performance as a parent?
Shame is a trap.
Let’s face it: snacks are all kids want to eat. Parents feel like if they don’t offer a “real meal” then their child will grow up with distorted eating & body image issues.
If you think the wellness shame for your own body is intense, ask a mom about how she judges her food choices for her kids.
When you listen for it, you will hear moms say things like, “I wish my child would eat _____.” “WOW, your kids eat so well!” “(Nervous laugh) She just will not eat____, no matter how I serve it.”
If letting your kids eat crackers and applesauce pouches for lunch helps you get through the day without a meltdown, then DO IT.
I’m not saying fill their bellies with snickers (even if they are a well-balanced snack), but give yourself a break.
Adults with ADHD struggle with food. They forget to eat, cope by overeating carbs & sugar, etc. Then they become parents who need to ensure the kids don’t eat as they do.
If your kiddo has sensory processing challenges, food can be a huge trigger. I remember as a kid hating steak. I didn’t know what to do with it once I was done chewing (or how to know when chewing was done!?).
As an adult, I learned the beauty of a good-cut cooked medium (Sorry, Dad!).
I hold the memory of chewing steak and feeling stressed. I now know I have sensory challenges that make some foods unappealing to me. Also, overcooked meat is hard for anyone to chew -- we should tell kids the truth about that.
My daughter is sensitive to sounds, so I assume when I see her struggle to eat yogurt that it could be sensory-related. I don’t tell her she doesn’t like it, I still offer it, but if she doesn’t eat it I don’t care.
The campaign slogan to support moms who offer formula bottles instead of breastfeeding is “Fed is Best,” I’m saying the same goes for all humans. Fed is Best.
We have enough hard things to navigate. Lunch does not need to be one of them.
In what ways can "Fed is Best" help you to let go of shame around feeding yourself and your children?
-------------------- Side note: I recently finished a small group program with Katy Weber on food and body freedom. It was transformative! I highly recommend anyone work with Katy or at least get her book. (not an ad, just a huge fan)